My Superpower

I must say I was waiting for that epiphany after my MS diagnosis. Weirdly, I was kind of excited for that magical moment. I'm talking about that moment people talk about after getting sick or having something tramatic happen to them - you know, when they say they know what the meaning of life is or that they are going to live every day like it is their last.

Hate to say it, but no epiphany for me.

I was diagnosed over a year ago (October 9th 2007) and shortly after that I started shooting myself three times a week with my disease modifying drug called Rebif. Brian helped me inject at first - each injection was a bit of a process for the two of us - he'd get the hot washcloth ready (that helped to avoid injection site reactions) and then I would load my self injector with the shot, shoot, and then Brian would throw everything away. Shortly after, I used my self injector all by myself, and then a few months later I gained enough courage to shoot myself without my handy tool. I'm a pro now.

And while the shot was a frequent reminder of my disease, my disease - as the disease is defined - didn't seem to impact me at all this year. What that means to all of you is I had no relapses. Sure I get freaked out at every pain or numbness, and I am what Brian calls, 'the human torch' because I am always hot. I am human and I do have feelings and fears - I'm no perfect person.

But as a clinical update, I have recently gone to the neurologist for a check up and got another MRI of my brain and spine which showed no changes and some improvements of my spine lesion (which is due to time and healing). That is very good news!

So why do I call MS, My Superpower? Well, while I never had a life changing epiphany and I do not believe having MS is a blessing, I believe I have learned a lot about myself over the past year. It has given me strength in areas of my life I thought I may have maxed out in, it has helped me make better decisions for myself, and I now have x-ray vision. Okay, no x-ray vision, but what I'm trying to say is it has given me a power to be what I believe is a better person for myself and to that, I can say that MS is My Superpower.